One of the first things I learned in grammar school is
Don't Talk to Strangers. Strangers would lie, saying your mom told them to pick you up or that they had a puppy in their car. Strangers meant bad, bad things were gonna happen, so stay on the sidewalks and out of their cars and be prepared to scream if they came too close.
Strangers = Danger.
Which is decent advice. When you're eight.
As I wrote in my previous post, I used to clam up in a group of strangers. It didn't matter if I was at a party or a business meeting, it didn't matter if they were friends of friends or we had people in common. Strangers = Danger.
Sure, they weren't going to lure me into their station wagon of death, but they were somehow still the judge of my social fate. They could decide I was a dork. That I talked ot much, or not enough. That I was loud, that I was obnoxious, that my jokes weren't funny.
I would be forced to make small talk (
small talk!) about Paris Hilton and the weather and
American Idol, when all I wanted to talk about was dogs and
WoW and
Lost. It got to the point where if people were suddenly sprung on me at the last minute (you know, the old "
oh, we invited Tom and Jana, too!") I would make excuses, remember some forgotten plan or spark a sudden illness, apologize profusely and bow out.
Anything not to talk to strangers.
But I got over it.
How did I get over it?
Simple.
I started talking to strangers.
I didn't just walk up to people on the street and initiate conversation. Remember, you want to remain far, far away from 'creepy' on the edge of the social spectrum. I started by talking to strangers who are paid to be nice to you. Think Waitstaff. Salespeople. Strippers. I don't care who they are, if they're helping you out, say hello. Say thank you. Ask them how their day is. Interact. Smile. Look them in the eye.
Keep it short - you don't want to get into Agnes' bunion surgery when you're ordering your flapjacks, or discover that Syren's waiting to hear back from her doctor between lapdances if she's pregnant.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to speak to three people this week. Three. That's it. The gas station attendant, the dude in line picking up
GTA IV, it's up to you.
Next Monday, I'm going to check in and see how all did. If you need some pep talk, or have any questions, post on the
message board (where I hope you'll introduce yourself as well!), blog it on your Uber page and note me, or check in with me on AOL IM, (screenname: slackmistress.)
I'm going to start having office hours on a weekly basis, so if you're a nerd and you need advice, you can just hit up Dr. Slack.
Good luck.
(But you won't need it!)
I chat with people in line at concerts, at stores, at the gym, etc. Usually a good rule of thumb is that if you say something and they turn towards you and respond, then keep going with light conversation. If they grunt and turn away, just leave 'em be. Where I live is notorious for being friendly, so I can get away with that. I don't know how it is in other cities.