slackmistress
Female / 35

Los Angeles, CA

Member Since: 2/16/2008
Last Seen: 7/22/2008

http://www.uber.com/antisocialnetworking

photos | videos | music
bookmarks | friends
About Me

Gender: Female
Hometown: Glen Ellyn, IL
Tagline: AntiSocialite
I Am Here For: friends
Relationship Status: married
Occupation: Writer. Blogger. Vlogger. Nerd Yenta.
Comments
Jun 24, 2008 1:51 PM
I'm not hating on the Nerd Girls - I think education is a fabulous thing. I hate the idea that the thing that's supposedly amazing is that they like lipstick and high heels and things that "typical" girls like. Which may be more a function of how the Newsweek writers wrote them (and I think I even say this in my post) rather than who they are.
Sam B. from ...
Jun 23, 2008 11:41 PM
The whole idea of the NERD GIRLS arose because of a lack of females in the engineering community. The founder is a female professor who felt that she had to overcome to reach the same levels of success that she saw her male counterparts encounter with less [whatever] - typical story in any field.

The point then, that you can extrapolate, is that the NERD GIRLS are meant to be an outreach program. The image of the NERD GIRLS you see has little to do with the actual program, an image created by studios and photographers to sell an image to the bright lights and flashy colors media machine.

The NERD GIRLS are meant to show that girls who tend to shy away from science at a young age because of the stigmas attached to the 'Nerd/Geek/Whatha veyou' community which dictate that you cannot be both 'wanted/beautifuf ul/recognized/pop ular' and also study hard and use your brain for something other than color matching and body painting.

The NERD GIRLS are a good thing. Did they sell out the name a little by doing a super upbeat photoshoot/video shoot, sure. Will there be any negative side-effect as many of you have suggested, absolutely not. This will not cause girls to forget that they are smart. This will not cause girls who are smart to long for beauty any more than every magazine and tv show you've ever heard of already does. Hating (if i may use a colloquialism) on the NERD GIRLS seems to be nit-picking minor aspects of how you 'wouldn't have done this or that' and much less about constructively criticizing a group that is seeking to promote the value of education. So you're against education? Now I understand your point of view...
Jun 13, 2008 7:32 PM
thanks for the add.
be sure to check out my blog.
LesaMay
Jun 03, 2008 6:04 PM
Waiting for the DVD. But not anxiously waiting.

xo,
LesaMay
ThisIsDeadAir.tv
May 30, 2008 12:14 AM
Love the site! That was the best smack in the jewels since "Man hit by Football in Groin" won an Academy Award. I enjoyed the science lesson as "pain receptors" let the body know to elevate pulse heart rate, etc... Maybe next time they'll show us how the amazing human body will shut down to protect itself when hit repeatedly in the head with a shovel. Sport truly is a sweet science.
May 22, 2008 11:32 AM
I can't seem to keep up with your blog, but I am still lovin' it. xo
May 21, 2008 1:23 AM
You follow direction very well...
May 20, 2008 6:17 PM
You're a genius, slack.
May 15, 2008 8:45 PM
You make a very valid (but terrifying) point. You gotta pick your battles. Plus I read an article about Travolta and it referenced a movie called Staying Alive, where Johnny played an oiled up half-shirted dancer. I'm guessing that had Bill & Ted by a decade (excluding any time travel scenarios).
May 15, 2008 3:38 PM
I now have a new place to fan girl at the Slack. *obsess*
Comment:
RSS Feed
June 24, 2008 3:48 PM  (go back to main view)
NYETWORKING: Nice Ass(umption)!
This is the first of what will be many posts on Nyetworking: The no-nos of online interaction.


I took Daisy the Wonderdog for a spin around the block before I headed out to the gym this morning, so I was dressed in my workout gear: stretchy leggings, tank top, and a hoodie. We hadn't even turned the corner when I heard it.

Hey baby...you got a nice ass!

Without turning around, I showed my vocal fan that I thought he was number one with a single finger salute. He honked and drove off, laughing. And once again, I was left with the creepy aftertaste of being someone's...nice ass.

But sometimes the same group of people who would never consider engaging in such behavior in their offline life unwittingly engage in it online.

Which brings me to the first rule of nyetworking. When you join the conversation - whether it's commenting on a blog post, sending someone that first email, responding to a twitter:

DON'T. BE. CREEPY.


Here's an email that any Internet Crush would be delighted to receive:
Your well-written, organized, humorous blogs are my favorites. With enough links and video and audio to keep my ADD satisfied. And a straight-forward, brick-in-the-face style. Openness and emotion I can connect with. Use of words that I have to look up on Wikipedia.

And here's one that had me checking the locks on the windows:
Dear Mistress: I am a clean, polite man who has discretionary income and would love the opportunity to worship your feet. I am located in the Los Angeles area and can make it worth your while.

You may have been reading their blog for years. You may have memorized every word of their online dating profile. You may have studied every single one of their Flickr photos. (Okay, I'm creeping myself out here.)

You may assume you know them. But they don't know you. They don't know your quirks, your tone, when you're making a joke and when you're being serious. So when emailing Random Internet People--

Do Not:
Confess deep dark secrets.
Discuss your sexual dysfunction.
Send naked photos. (Note: some guys dig this. However, as a chick I will tell you NEVER, EVER SEND A PICTURE OF YOUR* PENIS**)
Be threatening/offensive.
Ask them for a job/money/a ride.
Request to purchase their used bras. (Am I the only one who gets this?)

You'd think this would be common sense, but there isn't a virtual Miss Manners governing Internet Protocol (except for me, of course.) While I realize that my choice of 'slackmistress' as a username might be considered a wee bit naughty, thirty seconds on any of my sites would reveal that I don't do that sort of thing.***

Let's open it up to the floor: agree? disagree? with the list? What would you add? And a bonus question: give me your creepiest Internet experience! Feel free to add it on your uber profile and give me a heads-up in the comments so we can all take a look.




*Or anyone else's.

**You'd think it would go without saying, but it has to be said. I want to live in a world where guys spend their time talking to a girl that they might one day show their penis in person, rather than sitting home taking penis portraits and emailing them to random internet strangers.

***Not for money, anyway. ;)
Blog Comments (23):
Posted by  on May 11, 2008 11:00 PM
As someone who has actually received unsolicited penis pixs, I am so glad someone finally said this!!!!! I was starting to think I was the last sane person left!!!!!

A friend on Live Journal led me to this post, so I have to pass the link on to my friends there--maybe some Internet "miss manners" is what the www needs!
Love your writing!
Posted by  on May 09, 2008 3:01 PM
I have mixed feelings on this one. While I hate creepy (and in my line of work, I see it all the time!), once I hit 30 I started waving and saying thanks when people yelled nice ass at me. They always seem more embarrassed than when I respond rudely, and since I expect them to be honking at some nubile teenager who's ripe for underage procreation, I take it as a compliment that I still look that young.
Posted by slackmistr... on May 09, 2008 7:53 PM
I used to do that until I was almost assaulted in a Whole Foods parking lot by someone who then spat on my car. Now I may flip them off, but I don't acknowledge them verbally.
Posted by  on May 10, 2008 4:40 PM
Man... Yeah, that'd change my mind about it too! At Whole Foods, of all places, too.
Posted by Johnny² on May 08, 2008 6:59 PM
Posted by slackmistr... on May 11, 2008 9:55 PM
Nice!
Posted by Johnny² on May 08, 2008 5:10 PM
I fully agree, slacklady. I think I may write a post of my own about this. In all honestly, at times I find myself edging toward the end of normalcy and the start of creepy, but I like to think I have enough sense to know where that line is.

I'm not on any sites that I don't already know the people I'm interacting with fairly well, so I assume there's a bit of leniency in being "creepy" without actually being creepy. That may not be so in every case [I'm sure it isn't, as I've gotten in trouble once or twice], but generally everyone's a good sport, however bad my jokes may be.

I think it's a mutual consideration thing. The person being flirty should know when enough is enough, and the person "receiving" should know to stop that person if they go too far. Not everyone knows the limit, so you have to remind them at times.

The internet is a weird place. The weirdest, in my opinion. Everyone plays by their own rules. In the end, you can simply ignore anyone not worth your time. There's still billions of other people out there, no?

It's also worth noting that although the internet is a great place to escape from being whatever boring [or not] person you are in real life, it's not an excuse to go all out and break every rule and common courtesy there is.
Posted by slackmistr... on May 08, 2008 5:19 PM
That last paragraph is brilliant, and I'm stealing it (with credit, of course!)
Posted by Johnny² on May 08, 2008 5:28 PM
Hah, no problem.
Posted by piglet on May 07, 2008 10:24 PM
great post, much need for it. i feel lucky yet unpopular that i haven't had some these creepy experiences.

i have often wondered if i come off as an ass when i leave comments, or too strong. my blogging experience continues to evolve, and i am open to suggestions.

this site is kicking ass by the way.
Posted by slackmistr... on May 08, 2008 1:48 PM
Thanks! That's a great topic, and I'll definitely be covering that in an upcoming post!
Posted by  on May 07, 2008 7:43 PM
I'm currently trying to shake someone who had become obsessed with mine, and my 2 best friends blogs sometime ago. I shut my blog down in July 2007. He is still emailing and chatting like he KNOWS us. When my 2 best friendsb roke up, he emailed both of them telling them they couldn't break up because it would ruin his perception of relationships and love and pleaded and pleaded for them to get back together.

What kills me is that our lives had become dramatic fodder for him, and it's just...wrong. Wrong.
Posted by slackmistr... on May 07, 2008 8:40 PM
When an ex and I broke up, I had blog readers offer us money for couples' therapy.
Posted by  on May 07, 2008 7:38 PM
sorry, the anonymous poster below was me, kermit
Posted by  on May 07, 2008 7:38 PM
this probably won't make you feel any better, but at least the person didn't sneak up behind you, make you turn around and tell you that you have no butt.

(if you can't tell by now, this actually happened to me in real life. and all i said to them in response was "thanks for letting me know". granted, i have a flat butt, but really, what sort of response are you expecting when pointing something like that out?)

as for creepy internet experiences, yours pale in comparison to mine. all my creepy stalkers email me about is either their desire to know my mailing address to send me southern waffles - hand-job free waffles, apparently betheboy - or to tell me their anger at my lack of "providing information" about myself. considering that i have an anonymous photoblog, i honestly don't know what sort of "information" i'm supposed to provide; everything i think the reader needs to know in order to critique the photo is already in the photo.
Posted by njudah on May 07, 2008 7:24 PM
I always wonder when I hear these stories of internet woe why people do this. Did, in fact saying "nice ass" to an attractive woman walking her dog actually get said creep some 'action'? Is there a recorded, verifiable incident in which some Creepy Ugly Guy actually got a hot date with a hot woman because he, in fact, mailed a picture of his gizmo via email?

I'm a bit scared of the answer, to be honest!
Posted by slackmistr... on May 07, 2008 8:43 PM
As to the former, my guess is never. But as to the latter, my thought is that there's probably some urban legend that one day it magically did work? I dunno.
Posted by  on May 08, 2008 4:00 AM
i had a couple of sleazy guy friends who when they went out would be extremely forward (and sleazy) in their approaches. they usually only had to try it on about 20 girls before they scored.......
Posted by ChiaLynn on May 07, 2008 7:07 PM
Don't say "I want to be friends with you." Especially if that's your entire message. And it's written, "I want be friends with you. OK?" And it has any reference to the foreign country in which you live, or your hobby of being friends with very beautiful women.

Creepiest? The Flickrbator who sent me a message to say he'd like to "Tribute" me. When I checked his profile to see what he meant, I discovered that he apparently likes to come on pictures of women, then post photos of the spooge-soaked glossies in his Flickr stream. Ew.
Posted by slackmistr... on May 07, 2008 7:10 PM
"Tribute" takes an early creepy lead...

/agreed on "friends" thing.
Posted by Wolven on May 07, 2008 6:57 PM
I agree with this list, absolutely, but I would add the following: http://wolven.livejournal.com/1209006.html

Though that may be covered in "Deep Dark Secrets."

And a bonus question: give me your creepiest Internet experience!
I've not had one, yet. At least not one that I found to be actually creepy. They were two way streets.
Posted by slackmistr... on May 07, 2008 7:12 PM
That's a DDS or maybe crossing the line of good taste. Perhaps covered in "tribute" above. ;)
Posted by Wolven on May 07, 2008 7:37 PM
Wow. Yeah. That one's pretty damn creepy.
RSS Feed
Add a comment
Guests
Name
E-mail
Uber Members
E-mail
Password
Antisocial Networking?
Remember when the Internet was a safe haven for the socially awkward? With the advent of social networking, we're expected to be honing our social skills online and off.    Antisocialnetworking is a little bit of Nerdvana: a place to ask questions and wax poetic about the politics of dating and relating in a social networking world with your host and Nerd Yenta, the slackmistress.

Questions? Comments? Suggestions?  Press the magic button below:

Win Fabulous Prizes!
Blog Archive
That's What He Said...
" Perhaps the best way I've heard of comparing what we want vs. what we don't is "Beauty and the Geek" vs. "The Pick-Up Artist."

--Joe, commenting on No More Mr. Nice Guy?