slackmistress
Female / 35

Los Angeles, CA

Member Since: 2/16/2008
Last Seen: 8/18/2008

http://www.uber.com/antisocialnetworking

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About Me

Gender: Female
Hometown: Glen Ellyn, IL
Tagline: AntiSocialite
I Am Here For: friends
Relationship Status: married
Occupation: Writer. Blogger. Vlogger. Nerd Yenta.
Comments
Aug 20, 2008 1:55 AM
I am finally finishing the latest script that I have been avoiding like the plague. Your Productivity with posts and Tweets have inspired me. Thank you, Slackmistress! -

Also, Just noticed you hail from Glen Ellyn. I was just there a week ago - Visiting Family back there. I knew there was something " Midwest" about you . :)
Aug 04, 2008 7:02 PM
Like the new bloggers. You can never get enough of nerd girls!
Jul 24, 2008 12:27 PM
hey,
nicee page you got here. interesting blog :)
Jun 24, 2008 1:51 PM
I'm not hating on the Nerd Girls - I think education is a fabulous thing. I hate the idea that the thing that's supposedly amazing is that they like lipstick and high heels and things that "typical" girls like. Which may be more a function of how the Newsweek writers wrote them (and I think I even say this in my post) rather than who they are.
Sam B. from ...
Jun 23, 2008 11:41 PM
The whole idea of the NERD GIRLS arose because of a lack of females in the engineering community. The founder is a female professor who felt that she had to overcome to reach the same levels of success that she saw her male counterparts encounter with less [whatever] - typical story in any field.

The point then, that you can extrapolate, is that the NERD GIRLS are meant to be an outreach program. The image of the NERD GIRLS you see has little to do with the actual program, an image created by studios and photographers to sell an image to the bright lights and flashy colors media machine.

The NERD GIRLS are meant to show that girls who tend to shy away from science at a young age because of the stigmas attached to the 'Nerd/Geek/Whatha veyou' community which dictate that you cannot be both 'wanted/beautifuf ul/recognized/pop ular' and also study hard and use your brain for something other than color matching and body painting.

The NERD GIRLS are a good thing. Did they sell out the name a little by doing a super upbeat photoshoot/video shoot, sure. Will there be any negative side-effect as many of you have suggested, absolutely not. This will not cause girls to forget that they are smart. This will not cause girls who are smart to long for beauty any more than every magazine and tv show you've ever heard of already does. Hating (if i may use a colloquialism) on the NERD GIRLS seems to be nit-picking minor aspects of how you 'wouldn't have done this or that' and much less about constructively criticizing a group that is seeking to promote the value of education. So you're against education? Now I understand your point of view...
Jun 13, 2008 7:32 PM
thanks for the add.
be sure to check out my blog.
LesaMay
Jun 03, 2008 6:04 PM
Waiting for the DVD. But not anxiously waiting.

xo,
LesaMay
ThisIsDeadAir.tv
May 30, 2008 12:14 AM
Love the site! That was the best smack in the jewels since "Man hit by Football in Groin" won an Academy Award. I enjoyed the science lesson as "pain receptors" let the body know to elevate pulse heart rate, etc... Maybe next time they'll show us how the amazing human body will shut down to protect itself when hit repeatedly in the head with a shovel. Sport truly is a sweet science.
May 22, 2008 11:32 AM
I can't seem to keep up with your blog, but I am still lovin' it. xo
May 21, 2008 1:23 AM
You follow direction very well...
Comment:
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June 24, 2008 3:48 PM  (go back to main view)
My First Hatecrush, or Why I Won't Be Seeing the Sex & the City Movie.
By slackmistress
I am one of the few women in Northern America who didn't see the Sex and the City movie this weekend. That's because I'm one of the few women who has no desire to see the Sex and the City movie at all. My confession elicited some similar responses. Okay, so I'm definitely not alone. So, it lead me to wonder...

...do nerds not like Sex and the City?
I must admit before I go any further that I watched the television show. How could I not? The year was 1998, and I had been blogging for about a year. Except it wasn't called blogging back then. I think I referred to it as "this little website where I write weekly essays about my life and relationships and stuff" and when people looked at me in horror, I'd run off to the bathroom to hide. I hadn't managed that whole social thing yet.

So every Sunday I'd tune my set to HBO, where I hoped to discover how a woman who wrote weekly columns about her life and relationships and sex and stuff balanced that with her actual life.

And I learned nothing of the sort. I did learn things, though, such as the following lessons from Carrie:

1. Cheating on your intended is okay if you feel really bad about it.
2. Shoes are more important than retirement.

3. Garanimals should be made for adults.
4. You can write whatever you want in your column, it'll never come back to haunt you.
5. Even hateful, un-self-aware people have friends.

Of course, Cosmo disagrees with me, but I chalk that up to a good thing.

I'm all for mindless entertainment. (I'm Tivo'ing Living Lohan, people!) But Carrie and friends were the beginnings of my first hatecrush. While the first few seasons enjoyed a sort of (wo)man on the street vibe, the series (for me, at least) devolved into a bunch of women that I didn't like, that I didn't relate to, and that I thought deserved every single heartbreak that came their way.

Still, I watched every episode. Every so often I'd have a glimmer of hope when I saw a morsel of humanity sneaking out - when Carrie discovered Big had gotten married, when Samantha worried over the results of her STD test - but these were quickly quashed. But I didn't think it was a poorly-written show. I was just laughing at them rather than with them.

According to Engage.com, the show did affect the way that women looked at dating and relationships. That the show made them feel like it was okay to be single, okay to just date for dating's sake, okay to not want to commit.

Because, y'know, before Sex and the City, to admit such things was weird. Different. Outside of the norm.

My guess - and it's a guess, but my fabulous NerdFriends, please sound off in the comments - is that NerdGirls didn't find the show revolutionary, because we're used to being weird. Different. Outside of the norm.

And that is why I'll wait 'til the Sex & the City movie hits cable.

In the meantime, you'll have to excuse me. I'm browsing Zappos for shoes I cannot afford, working on a potential blogger meetup at a fabulous bar, putting together ideas for Antisocial Networking's live video chat, and inviting you to check out and/or join the Slackmistress Appreciation Society. Ciao!



Also see from chud.com:
Sex & the City: A Nerd's-Eye View.

Later:
The 5s!
The Winner of "Coming Out Geek!"
Blog Comments (55):
Posted by surfer gir... on
please people...it's just a movie. and for those of you whom look down on the folks who found it (and the tv show) entertaining is B.S. it's like high school all over again. you hate the pretty girls because you're not. you hate the richies because you're poor. you hate the chearleaders because the get the dates with the BMOC's. you're still in denial and can't get over the fact that your personal lives haven't changed much since high school. it makes you feel better to say you're proud to be "different." but in reality...we ALL know what you really mean by "different." don't be haters.
Posted by slackmistr... on
I don't think I cast aspersions on anyone who liked the show or the movie - I explained why *I* didn't like the characters. Big difference.

However, I don't know what you mean by "different" so perhaps you'd care to elaborate.
Posted by aliastaken on
I rented all the episodes of the show and I have to admit that I did enjoy watching them, especially at the beginning. Of course, I also rented all the Dawson's Creek shows. I've got a lot of alone time on my hands at night.
Posted by aliastaken on
What happened here? Again, with the too much alone time on my hands I guess.
Posted by aliastaken on
I rented and watched all the episodes last year, and though some of you make valid points, I have to say that I really did love the show. (The last seasons weren't as good as the first.) I have not seen the movie, but I'm sure I'll rent it. I don't know if this means I am or am not a nerd. I don't wear expensive shoes if that adds any information to the equation.
Posted by ChiaLynn on
I quite surprised myself by wanting to see it, and then surprised myself by thoroughly enjoying it. Now I think I'll Netflix the series (which I've never seen) - just as soon as I'm through with my unabridged audiobook of Moby Dick (which I've never read).
Posted by ehme on
I have never even seen Sex in the City the show. Ever. And I won't. Ever. I learned how to be a sexually promiscuous drunk all on my own with no help from the chick from Mannequin and that goat who stole Ferris Bueller from me. In fact, the first few notes of that theme song coming on after Family Guy sends both my husband and I into a Pavlovian dive for the remote. My eyes! My eyes!
Posted by Expecting ... on
I've seen the TV show, am a nerd, and have no desire to see the movie, either. I only know one woman that's seen it. However, I'm not one of those people who needs to explain how cool I am because I don't do what's popular.
Posted by slackmistr... on
I'd prefer to stay away from name calling, as it doesn't really enlighten the conversation. The sexually promiscuous drunk is relevant, but what she looks like really isn't. Unless you really avoid movies depending on what the character looks like. (I mean, I had a crush on Peter Lorre back in the day.)
Posted by kermit on
please don't refer to sarah jessica parker as a goat. it offends the goats to no end.

kermit, goat appreciation society ambassador

p.s. thank you for pointing out ferris bueller. i don't know what the hell happened to him that he got pudgy (acceptable given that he's aged) and wound up marrying her.
Posted by slackmistr... on
Please see above!
Posted by kermit on
Many apologies to the goats. I was going to say curly-haired whore, but I didn't want to offend myself.
Posted by Anne-Marie on
I would prefer to stab myself in the eyes rather than watch that movie. And also stab anyone else in the eyes that would prefer to watch Sex in the City rather than one of the way better movies out at the moment.
Ugh!
Posted by slackmistr... on
Note to self: don't go to the movies with Anne-Marie. ;)
Posted by celticbuff... on
I don't hate it. I just don't care about it. I watched a few episodes when I finally broke down and got cable last year, and I just don't see what the fuss it about. Personally I'd rather watch "The Big Bang Theory" on CBS than SATC. Or "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer". (Joss Whedon rules!). It's nice to know that I'm not the only female out there that just doesn't give a rip about the 4 ladies of SATC.
Posted by slackmistr... on
You are not alone!
Posted by Liz on
It's mainly fluff, but some things ring true. When Miranda ate the huge cookie that said "I love you" to avoid the topic? I uh...not proud of it, but I hid and obsessed over an "I love you" balloon for the same reasons. And always shower after sex guy? Yeah, I've had that too. I've seen all the episodes enough to cringe at the bad puns and repetitive characterization, but I still turn to SATC in times of distress. And maybe I just grew up under a rock, but I think it was ground-breaking about women and sex. My rather liberal 60-years-old-ish parents hate it and think all the characters are whores blah blah blah. The fact they'd say that about what's really a fluffy, silly show....makes me think there needs to be SATC, and Girlfriends, and Grey's Anatomy, and The L-Word, and any damn middlebrow nighttime soap that has central, at least marginally three-dimensional female characters who have sex and aren't just victims/whores/connivers/what have you.

Posted by slackmistr... on
I can see that. I think Deb (below) makes an interesting point that maybe when it was on, it was revolutionary, but now, notsomuch.
Posted by Seidhr on
Yes. That is exactly how I view that show.
Posted by slackmistr... on
Thanks for the backup!
Posted by kermit on
i don't know how much of a nerd thing it is to hate SATC because even the NYT reviewer hated it, and NYT review/style section appeals to non-nerds.

what irked me about the show (based on the few episodes i watched) was the fact that it claimed to do one thing - make it okay to be single and talk about your sex life - when in it did just the opposite. all the characters supposedly show the different sides of a woman (the nymphomaniac, the workaholic, the nester) but they all wind up as the same stereotypical female character - married/committed and with children (or on their way to wanting children) as if that were the only formula for leading a happy life - i.e. it's not okay if things other than husband and child give meaning to your life; you'll have to change.

just as an example, in one of the few episodes that i watched, miranda is pissed off at the others and asks why they never have significant conversations about something. their response is to stare at her for a moment and then it's revealed that she was just lashing out at them because she was having guy-problems. the original concern is too easily washed away.

it's not the bad writing (moralistic outcomes and all) or the product placements so much as the pretense of modernism.

kermit
Posted by slackmistr... on
The weird thing is that it's not the show I hate so much as the characters that drive me batty. Although that's what made me watch it. Hrm.
Posted by lilbear on
hey slack! i've always been a dork and a nerd, and never afraid to wave the weird/different/out of the norm flag growing up. I think a distinction needs to be made between revolutionary for the viewer, and revolutionary, in terms of cultural impact. I think what resonates so much with this show culturally is the way that the focus of the entire show is on these four women's lives and relationships- primarily with each other, and as a lens for exploring women's love relationships. We watch National Geographic or the Discovery channel if we want 'reality' - certainly, 'reality shows' are anything but, so why hold a show like this up to a different standard (it's not valid because it's unrealistic?). Sure, maybe a very small percentage of the population is that rich, beautiful, and successfull but that is part of the fantasy, and part of why it is fun to watch! I salivate at some of their fabulous outfits as much as I cringe at the ridiculousness of some of what they are wearing. What has always hooked me is the depth of their friendships with each other, and the strength of those bonds throughout all the other drama in their lives. For me at least, that was very real, and though I don't think anyone is a "Carrie," "Miranda" et.al...we're all much more complex and multi-dimensional than that- their friendships reflected that essence of female friendships that no other show has previously. There was also a situational realness to the dating situations they encountered- though obviously exaggerated for the purposes of the show, there was a grain of reality in many of them that I think resonates for many women, therefore the comedy. I've already seen it twice, and was thoroughly satisfied. I love the show wholeheartedly, and though I could expound for hours on all the problems and lack of reality that it reflects, I (obviously) can talk for hours about how wonderful it is. Couldn't have been more fun to see it in SF on opening night with a theatre full of women dressed super funky to the nines, drinking cocktails inside the theatre and clapping/cheering throughout! Definitely felt like a bit of a cultural zeitgeist! And I never thought I'd sit in a movie with my mom laughing out loud as Samantha threw out 'cock' left and right!
Posted by slackmistr... on
I also should add that I think that there is a VERY positive aspect to this which is that there is an AUDIENCE for primarily-geared toward women entertainment. But hopefully we won't be gobsmacked with clones.
Posted by slackmistr... on
"And I never thought I'd sit in a movie with my mom laughing out loud as Samantha threw out 'cock' left and right!"

This is the best defense I've heard thus far. :)
Posted by Liat on
I think I echo discotrash's sentiment. Its just mind numbing entertainment. When I look into the moral repercussions of all of the characters it hurts my head. On the other hand, its quite entertaining to look at what Patricia Field vomit Carrie is donning.

I am waiting to see it with my gay friend. He may very well be my Stanford.
Posted by slackmistr... on
I can't be numb when I hate. :(
Posted by Deb on the... on
I'm digging your theory, but when I posted about my Top 10 Reasons Not to See SITC at www.debontherocks.com, several wonderful nerdy girls ran to the defense of the Carrie. I think the appeal is retro--fans are remembering a time where Monday social-networking conversations were finally about women's lives and not only about sports. But now, who needs it?
Posted by slackmistr... on
Maybe that's it. Again, I haven't seen the movie so I don't know, but it would be interesting to see if the years changed things, or if it was ignored entirely.
Posted by Nicole on
Hay! I was blogged! :D

I'll tell you the same thing I told a friend on LJ: I have NO interest in "Four beautiful female New Yorkers gossip about their sex-lives (or lack thereof) and find new ways to deal with being a woman in the 90's" as summarized by IMDB. Because how TV Women deal with their unrealistic lives is about as exciting to me as snails fucking. Just sayin'.

I also never got into "Friends", "Melrose Place" or other group-of-friends-in-impossible-situational-SOhilar ious-comedies. Because they're not funny. Or ironic. But I know I'm a little out-of-the-norm as far as demographics is concerned.

I'm more of a Whedonverse girl myself. Happy to be a nerd, thanks!
Posted by slackmistr... on
Yer famous!

I watched Melrose Place! The bar down the street had $7 pitchers and free pizza on Melrose nights!
Posted by the exever... on
SM – I’m not seeing the movie (maybe ever?) for much the same reasons as you. I’ve watched it maybe a total of five times and while I found it enjoyable and sometimes witty – it was not even a dollop of life-changing and honestly, it worries me a bit that some people needed a show on HBO to figure out that it’s quite all right to run your own agenda without a man. I mean, SERIOUSLY.
Posted by slackmistr... on
It's bizarre to me, too. I guess the end justifies the means? It's not like the series was about a puppykicking factory...but still.
Posted by Sarah Atwo... on
Uh oh, now I feel like a bad nerd. But, I must admit I'm a movie nerd so I judge a movie for its structure not the chaos surrounding it. I've never had HBO but started to watch the series when TBS reran it. I enjoyed it but never got hooked. I have about 10 pairs of very basic shoes. I don't know fashion. And I'll drink anything that will get me buzzed.
The movie however was a great commentary on relationship dynamics. The way it showed how we relate to our girlfriends vs. how we relate to our boyfriends or our girlfriend's boyfriends was fascinating to me and felt very realistic. The movie also has a lot more of a life is hard attitude than the series.
Posted by slackmistr... on
I don't think it makes you a "bad nerd!" My question is a real one. I haven't seen the movie (obvs) so I can't comment. Well, I could, but it would hold no juice. :)
Posted by sizzle on
I did not see the movie and do not intend to. I sort of watched the show in the beginning but it didn't really speak to me. Maybe I am a nerd? That'd be fine by me!
Posted by slackmistr... on
Nerd is not a bad thing!
Posted by Jodi on
I could never even get into the show. That's probably because I'm more of a dork than a nerd. It's not that it's beneath me...it just never interested me. And it's not that I'm a prude. Californication was one of my favorite shows last year.
Posted by slackmistr... on
I haven't seen that, and I love Mr. Duchovny. Maybe it's my fear of commitment? (To a new show)
Posted by drea on
I think that's one of the most succinct ways of explaining why I just couldn't get into the show I've ever read. Most of us have been the weird kids forever, so for something to be revolutionary, it would have to be better than something so self-absorbed.
Posted by slackmistr... on
Thanks!
Posted by heels on
I adore shoes, which I've been told are a major focus of the show and the movie (???), but I have NO interest in seeing the movie, and I've never wanted to see the show. I DO NOT CARE! I think, from what I've seen in the "news" lately, that even the SATC women are as sick of each other as I am of seeing them.

But, like I said before, I can't wait for the next Batman. I do miss, though, the nipples on the Bat-suit (remember those?). Corny and useless, but ineffably sexy for some reason.
Posted by slackmistr... on
I have two closets full of shoes (as le Husband will attest to.) But the nipples on the Batsuit freak me out! Maybe I'm the bad nerd?
Posted by  on
Seriously? I want to lick them. Um... the nipples, not the shoes. Wait... this is getting stranger and stranger. Now I feel all exposed.

*blush*
Posted by Betheboy on
I have one closet full of everything I can fit in it. All other storage in the house is for shoes that don't belong to me.
Posted by Karen on
I'll freely admit, I never really watched the show when it was on. I had no interest in doing so. I caught the occassional rerun when flipping, but I could never sit through the whole thing. It just never appealed to me. I love fashion, so that's not it. (I'm a self-confessed Project Runway addict.) I love shoes, so that's not it. (I, too, shop Zappos for shoes I cannot afford.) I dig mindless fluff shows, so that's not it. (I love countdown shows on E! and VH1.) And I'm most certainly not a prude, so that's not it. (I'm all down for consenting adults doing what they like as long as it doesn't involve animals or children.) But SATC never clicked with me. ~shrug~

So, Slack, let me raise a glass to fellow nerd chix who don't dig SATC. We'll drink wine because I don't like Cosmos. Now if you're talking about Carl Sagan's "Cosmos", then IT'S ON LIKE AN ATOM BOMB.
Posted by slackmistr... on
You have been quoted (to the right!)
Posted by Karen on
Holy crap! YAY! Thanks, Slack! :D
Posted by slackmistr... on
"So, Slack, let me raise a glass to fellow nerd chix who don't dig SATC. We'll drink wine because I don't like Cosmos. Now if you're talking about Carl Sagan's "Cosmos", then IT'S ON LIKE AN ATOM BOMB."

BRILL.IANT.
Posted by Scott Sass... on
Bad show, bad movie nothing redeeming.
Posted by slackmistr... on
Liar, I saw your SATC Collector's Boxset in your office!
http://www.amazon.com/Sex-City-Sarah-Jessica-Parke r/dp/B0011UBDTK
Posted by discotrash on
you know i had no intrest in the show when it was first on, then i got a roommate who couldn't believe id never seen that show or desperate housewives and promptly got the dvds of both.

i enjoyed the shows for what they were, comedies with women in them. i dont think i ever got emotionally involved with the characters like some women do. i might have even waited to rent it or see it on tv but a girlfriend of mine at work really really wanted to go last night and didn't really have any one to go with, so we went and checked it out.

it was a cute movie and we ended the night with pints of newcastle at a dive bar. ha ha.

I have a friend that's violently opposed to the series and says it's bad for body image or whatever, but i dont really see that so much either, at least not any more or less than any other show on television
Posted by ChiaLynn on
"i think part of what interested me at all about the show or the movie too is i know so few women (and obviously I am one) so its almost like going to the zoo for me."
Discotrash, I think this may be part of the reason it drew me in, too. I'm a bit fascinated by female relationships, but I've not had a lot of them, and I always wonder if I'm doing something wrong.

And when you say, "to be quite honest large groups of women kind of frighten me, i never know when it's going to turn ugly, you know?" - I get that. I totally get that.
Posted by slackmistr... on
I'm not casting aspersions on anyone who's seen it, I swear! And I agree with your last statement, the body image thing never bothered me. In fact, it's the opposite: the women were always shown eating food!
Posted by discotrash on
and drinking as if their lives depended on it. lord knows that packs on the pounds (burp, oops scuze me I dropped my beer)

i think part of what interested me at all about the show or the movie too is i know so few women (and obviously I am one) so its almost like going to the zoo for me.

i have like 2 close female friends and the rest are aquaintances. i work in a male dominated field and even when i was younger i always got along with boys better.

to be quite honest large groups of women kind of frighten me, i never know when it's going to turn ugly, you know?
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