A member of my Nerdboy Posse came to me with a quandary: he had met a girl at a wedding (not the bride!), they had hit it off, and what did he do now?
You continue what with what you were doing when you met, obviously that works.I was just being funny, he told me,
she was cracking up all night.Then do that.But isn't that--What?
It feels like bragging.
You're funny, I told him
, and most people aren't. You start with that!
I'd like to say that this conversation was an anomaly, but in the Nerd World, we seem to be nervous about showing our strengths. How many of us are good when we "get to know someone" or are "comfortable with people we know" but in a group of strangers we clam up, hug the walls, and pray for death?
It's attention.
Amongst friends, attention is positive, attention is earned, attention is bathed in like a fountain of cake. Amongst strangers, attention spells danger. Attention means you've blown your cover. Attention means you're exposing yourself to their judgment, their criticism, their snark. Attention means you're t-minus three seconds from being shoved in a garbage can/locker/into a wall and not even a saving roll can help.
Except that's not how the world works now. Sure, someone's always making fun of someone else, but we're not in junior high anymore. You get to create the rules. You get to be your own hall monitor. And while you might have felt like the dorkiest person in the room (and you still might be), as an adult, that's okay. Nerds are popular. You may no be a social savant, but chances are you're smart, witty, and genuine. Lead with this, and if the strangers in the room don't respond? You're in the wrong room.
For an example of a guy who leads with his chin, click
here. (link SFW)
The
Whorebot vs. Spammer poll is still open! Vote!
